Not Paintings.

3 animals and 9 colors

The ever-evolving photo combo...

It started out as a solo photo of a pair of shoes found at the 

bottom of my apartment staircase. I fell in love with the 

quaintness of the image. Shoes come in pairs - why shouldn't 

photographs? I took the pic of the pelican within the same 

week I'd taken the shoe pic - common denominator:  cement. 

About a week later...the shoes were gone but a black 

grackle feather was very near the same spot.  I like this.

Changes.

I've been disturbed at not having the time and energy to make work like I have for the past several years.  But putting together a new project folder on my desktop revealed something pretty cool - I'm making different work.

My definition of "work" has an entirely new meaning.  And I'm still making a decent amount of it but now some pieces are just not able to be hung on wall or are intangible all together.  These things include my recorded voice, stop motion films, created vignettes in jars, and the documentation of experiences.  But it's still work.

Photography Combos

 pelican shoes

 alone together

 freezer oven

Stop Motion Films

 Real Fake and Bail done with my big girl camera

 Collection of films done renegade-style with my phone

Drawings & Paintings

Recordings & Journaling

Books:  Photography & Stories 

Downright Weird Stuff

Turts.

I took a break from the mini film makin' to shoot some photographs...turtle-style.  I like that a turtle carries his home on his back.  I spent a long time looking for home (and still do at frazzled moments). 

The search always took place some where beyond where I was at the time.  I traveled a lot of miles, established many relationships, changed jobs, enrolled in schools & classes & programs, drained countless cans of beer, ran fast and drove faster until there was no road left to pursue.  

I was like a lizard in a terrarium throwing myself against the glass over and over again until finally one day I sat up, took a look around my little terrarium digs and thought, hey...this could be pretty cool.  

Anyway, back to turtles.  I like that a turtle carries his home on his back...

More Desktop Films

behaving like humans

awesome parade

Globes minus the snow.

My daily dog walks provide unexpected inspiration on a regular basis.  

Newest find - a busted snow globe in the bushes.  I'm not a big fan of 

Mickey but I am a big fan of visually awesome stuff and this fits the bill.  

If I were to make a tini tiny snow globe sans snow, it would look like this...

And every little tree needs a mountain.

And every mountain needs a flag.

I've got a nice little world started.

Household Stills

I had 15 min. to make dinner and get dressed before I had to be there.  As I scurried around, one thing and then another caught my eye - these little vignettes around the house that meant something but I wasn't sure what.  So I grabbed my camera and captured them, promising myself that I'd explore them when I got home.  And I did.  And this is what they are...

freezer oven

 grocery jars

 vulture peeps

blank & empty

Gettin' my alla prima on.

 Deer, oil on wallpaper, 13.5"x12", 2013

I haven't been painting as much as I'd like because life keeps happening and I have this heart-stopping fear that I'll forget how or loose the desire to want to paint and it's a thought I can't bear so I just have to stop everything, put the painting apron on, and paint a dang deer!  Whew.

What's the perfect kind of painting when one wigs out in this manner?  Alla prima.  In a nut shell, alla prima is a technique in which a painting is completed in one bang-out session. You work fast and take no prisoners.  This little dude's eyes are a bit crossed and his ears are slightly off kilter but that's just the way he is.  No touch ups, I'll keep my mitts off of him and accept him as is.

Side note:  This deer is kind of a big deal.  Below is a still shot from a stop motion film you can spy in an earlier post.

Dirty Ashtrays in the Tiki Garden

Dirty Ashtrays in the Tiki Garden is a long short story I wrote circa 2000 AD.  I was 24 years old, roughly halfway through my twenty-two year drugged-out, drunken, spring break-inspired bender.

I didn't know when I was writing it that I would be telling my future.  Or maybe I did.  Either way, it turned out to be an overly dramatized but not too far off version of how my life actually played out.  I'm 37 and sober now, revisiting the story I wrote in the midst of a riot.

This is the 2nd bound draft copy.  It hasn't been professionally edited so it is riddled with mistakes.  In general, the story itself is unbearably personal in a completely autobiographically fictitious way.

"How do I get my mitts on a copy?!" you ask.  Like a pair of maladjusted and critically endangered animals left behind by the Ark, there are two copies in existence.  One copy is forever mine and the second copy is tradable for the small but important price of a round trip plane ticket from Dallas, TX to Peoria, IL (where I will be a resident artist at Prairie Center of the Arts later this year).

The End.

Emerging From the Rabbit Hole

Emerging From the Rabbit Hole, oil, 32"x48", 2013

To fall down the rabbit hole:  a bizarre period of chaos or confusion, life being suddenly filled with strange events.  This can be an experience fueled by mind-altering drugs or just a quick and irreversible jump into oblivion (although I've found that one can only rarely exist without the other).

I jumped feet first and with complete abandon down the rabbit hole years ago, and I'm just now emerging to take the first breathes of fresh air.  I had forgotten about the existence of sunlight or maybe I never knew how to recognize it in the first place.  It was so long ago.

Emerging From the Rabbit Hole is a painting depicting my current point of the journey, recovery.  The reference image I used is based on a photo taken by a friend of Bingham Canyon Copper Mine in Utah.  Bingham has been in operation for over 100 years and is the largest man-made excavation on earth.  This is a testament to just how deep I had fallen.

In-progress...

Bail

An innocent doll takes off 

with a truck full of drifters...

Real Fake

A group of animal figurines is wonderstruck 

by the discovery of real natural specimens...

The Universe for Dad

Here is a short renegade project about an enormous topic...

Dad's death has given me a sense of freedom and I feel guilty for saying that - as if I mean I'm glad that he's dead, which I am not.  I wish very much that he wasn't dead.  I wish I could watch him laugh, I wish I could hear him tell one of his wild stories, I wish I could pull up to his house and see him waiting outside for me.  Unfortunately, I'll have to dig into my memory bank when I wish for those things because I'll never live the experiences as new again.

But I love him more and differently because living through the experience of him leaving is a gift that has let me see the world in a different way.  I want to make work in a different way.  This desire is so strong that it makes me feel almost sick, almost poisoned, like it's too big for my body to contain and I have to tell myself that I don't have to act on it all at once, that realizing it and living it and dreaming of it is just as important and lovely as creating it.

Truckin' Along

My version of the Universe 

in an instant coffee jar.

Dinosaur Valley State Park and 

Passenger Pigeon paintings are finito.

 Dinosaur Valley State Park, oil, 32"x48", 2013

Passenger Pigeon, oil, 32"x48", 2013

Completing Bingham Canyon Mine 

is next on the agenda.

And then I shall let the new experience of working at the Zoo drive the work.  I had an experience yesterday that inspired some note-taking:  When witnessing animals confined in zoos, parks, etc., why do different species evoke different emotions?  

For me, a visit to the reptile building is a peaceful and pleasant experience.  The Indochinese Serrated Turtle is hands down my favorite, he puts a smile on my face and fills my heart big with joy.  

Visiting the primate building, on the other hand, makes my stomach drop like when you see a wreck on the highway.  There is one male Silverback Gorilla in particular that reminds me of looking into a mirror on my saddest day.  

Turtle vs. Gorilla - I get it, we relate to the primate and believe we understand his feelings.  But what about the turtle?  

Mental. Pressure. Cooker.

The studio is now a total and complete sweat shop of never-before-tried experiments mixed along with the standard paintings and photographs.  Throw in the anticipation of learning the verdict of six artist residency applications and the embarkment of a new full-time job that will require more hours and responsibility (along with my part-time job) and the lack of desire to execute any of the above and you have one overwhelmed lady. Here is a studio tour of the started but unfinished work....

The dang Universe.

So in reaction to my dad's passing, I've understandably been obsessed with life and death and the universe - you know, existence as a whole.  No big deal.  Except that it is a big deal and it's totally exhausting.  How do I visually articulate the most monumental subject ever?  Well with a small-scale sculpture made from maps, beads, wire, wood, and a coffee jar that's how.  Next step to this project is making the map mountain taller.

Hollywood Texas-style.

A few years ago my friend Lani (hi pal!) and I made some pretty badass stop motion films. I want to make more.  Like immediately. So I bought a set and cast which was the easy part, now all I have to do is make the film.  And.....ACTION!

Testing, testing, 1-2-3...

"Hey!", I said to myself, "Why don't you get a digital voice recorder and record the writing you've done over the past few years?"  "Then manipulate it, organize it, or use it as an element in a piece of art?"

(left) Bingham Canyon Mine (right) Passenger Pigeon 

But...don't forget that you've got these two paintings to finish and they will stare at you all day everyday until they are completed.

And your heart still wants to photograph spaces where the outdoors meets the indoors! Oh yeah...and document everything and write about it on your blog.  

 Bottom floor of my apartment building.

going-away-party-flower

My current patio science project.

Extinction & Destruction

Here is the latest batch of paintings in-progress.  I want to address extinction and destruction.  What I'm captivated by is how breathtaking I find the reference imagery at a completely superficial level but how disturbing I find their historical existences.

Bingham Canyon Mine

Utah's Bingham Canyon Mine, also known as Kennecott Copper Mine, is the largest man made excavation in the world.  The.  World.  It is over .6 miles deep and 2.5 miles wide, covering 1,900 acres.  It's been in production since 1906.  Hmmm...that's 107 years of...well...total carnage to the ole earth's skin.

The shear magnitude of  destruction is heart-stopping, but from a bird's eye view the image of the mine is beautiful.  What an interesting conflict of emotions.

(My buddy Megs took this photo and was kind enough to let me use it for reference.  Thanks Megs!)

Passenger Pigeon

When I took this photo almost a year ago I never would have realized it's immense contribution in the inspiration department.  I mean, it was a big deal when I was living it - I was holding a dang passenger pigeon after all - but looking back on it I now realize how special that moment really was.

I became aware of environment in a big way on this trip.  The specimen itself is beyond amazing but I became fascinated with the space in which it exists as well.

Dinosaur Valley State Park

I visited Dinosaur Valley State Park circa April 2013 and walked away with two main points:  Consumerism and Extinction.  That's what the above image represents to me.  But like the Bingham Canyon photo, this image also raises battling feelings.

My gut reaction when I saw the basket of plastic dinosaurs was childish glee.  The bright colors shaped like near-unbelievable-creatures are just small enough for a kid's hand and resemble candy. 

But then I switch to grownup mode knowing that this one small delicious basket isn't the only one in existence.  In fact, I'm sure truckload after truckload of these same dinosaur toys ramble down the road filling every science museum gift shop from Seattle to Savannah.  

INDOORS OUTDOORS

                                                      

I just finished a project called INDOORS OUTDOORS.  It's a book of photographs taken from 2010-2013.  Here is the project statement:

I wanted to write a slick statement about how taking and later exploring these photos fulfilled my intrinsic need to contain the intersection where the indoors meets the outdoors but that made me sound like a pompous robot so instead I'll simply say that taking these photos gave me the same feeling as when I captured a lightening bug in a jar when I was a kid.

Here is the link to the project:

FEAST YOUR EYES ON INDOORS OUTDOORS

Dad

The number six is now my number.  I never knew that a number could evoke such strong emotions.   

He was born William McDonald, became Wild Bill, but I knew him as Dad.  He came into this world on 6/6/1951 and left it on 6/6/2013.  Full freakin' circle.  Nice work Dad.

He was hands down the funniest person I've ever known and at the same time I've never known another person to hold such sadness at times.  I miss you Dad and have a love for you greater than a heart can hold.

Dad, watercolor, 20"x15", 2009

                            Dad, oil, 24"x18", 2009                                                   Dad, pastel, 12"x9", 2009

About a week after he died, Kona and I were going for our morning walk when we came across something in the middle of the sidewalk.  It was a tattered white foam cutout that looked like it had once belonged on a kid's school project.  I looked closer and could see it was an image of a bearded man and I instantly knew it was Dad saying hello.  I scooped it up and framed him.  Hi to you Dad.